“I have known people who keep going back to the same empty well, sharing their truths and waiting for a certain response to liberate them. Waste of time – some people will never hear us or own their actions. We have to fill our own wells, but first we have to empty them of what isn’t ours”

– Jeff Brown from the book An Uncommon Bond

One of the themes in my work with people is the pattern of being in relationships that are desperately out of balance.

We bring our own patterns and conditioning to relationships that bind us with people who are unable to meet us with reciprocity. We give, tolerate, try, fix, ignore, remain “loyal” out of duty, deny the truth about our needs…all in the name of relationship maintenance. This costs us so, so much.

We are expected, in our society, to remain in and maintain relationships and I believe that’s profoundly dangerous to our well-being.

It takes tons of courage to admit to yourself that a relationship is depleting you and even more courage to do something about it. 

Others may not understand and others will judge, but when we ignore the kinds of connections our soul longs for, it comes at great costs.